The Disgruntled Bus Driver
by Sapphirewyren
Summary: Yami is driving the city bus, this could only mean several things, humor randomness and maybe a second coming?
1. Chapter 1

Introduction By Sapphirewyren 

As you know I'm _**Sapphirewyren**_, how I got name is a long story… umm not really but Final Fantasy has something to do with it. This is my first fan fic and unlike other people who ask their readers to "be nice", I accept brutal honesty and ideas on how to make my stories…

Kaiba put those brownies back!!!!

Like I was saying…

You too Joey!!!

You get what I was saying, since I am an honest person, I expect my readers to also be honest. This story is called "The Disgruntled Bus Driver. When you read the story you'll find out what the story is about.


	2. Chapter 2

**The Disgruntled Bus Driver Chapter** 1: Drag racing and Dog Shit

It was early in the morning and Yami, the driver of the Q4 was not happy, the reason why he was driving the damn bus in the first

place was because he had been drag racing against Kaiba. The judge had given them two options: community service or prison. Yami

and Kaiba thought it would be better to do the community service. Yami got driving the bus, (Kaiba had crashed into a bus and the

judge secretly thought Yami was the better driver.) meanwhile Kaiba got cleaning up dog poop at local parks for two months. Yami

was the lucky one. As they walked out the courtroom, Joey burst out laughing—at Kiaba. "Wow Kaibacorp's CEO cleaning up dog

shit! HAHAHAHA!" laughed Joey. "Shut up mutt" growled Kaiba. But Joey kept laughing ant it got worse when Tristan started up

also. "Enjoy cleaning dog shit, Kaiba!" chuckled Tristan. This was not the image Kaiba wanted! This was going to be in newspapers

everywhere!! But really who gives a shit about what Kaiba wants? "After you're finished cleaning up dog mess, Kaiba you can have

that rematch." Yami said smugly. Joey laughed again "Wow cleaning dog crap and losing, you're really great." Kaiba should have

chosen prison, but he was gay and Pegasus would have taken over his crappy company. So that's how Yami got stuck driving the

Q4, at least it beats cleaning dog poo.

Hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter, don't worry the rest of the chapters will be longer.


	3. Chapter 3 Jesus is coming

**Chapter 2: Jesus is coming!**

WARNING! If you are easily offended by the topic of religion or you don't have a sense of humor then this story is not for you!

**Disclaimer**** I do not own YuGiOH! If I did I wouldn't be writing this!**

**ENJOY ******

The bus pulled up to a stop and the doors opened. A woman dressed in a white skirt, white shirt… well in all white, boarded the bus. It wasn't the fact that she looked like a giant marshmallow that caught Yami's eye, it was the large crucifix that she carried that got Yami's attention and everyone else's attention on the bus. A few minutes into the ride and then the woman started. First she read out loud passages from her Bible and guess what passages she decided to read? That's right the ones that talked about the end of the world. Some passengers stared at her, others ignored her deafened by their I pods. After a few minutes "Bible Study", she began to preach: "Jesus is comin' again my brothers and sisters! Repent! Repent for your sins! The Bible says that there will be war and famine! These are signs of the end!" Some teens stifled laughs and one man muttered "Sad". The woman must have heard the teens because she turned to them and shouted " Read your Bibles, praise Jesus He loves you!" Now the teens looked kind of scared, "Yo this lady's crazy" one boy said. The girl next to him elbowed him, she didn't want the lady to say anything else to them. But she continued, "Repent!, turn to Jesus He loves you. You sir, do you love Christ?" The woman grabbed a man as she said this. Poor guy was just reading. "Y-yes" he stammered. Meanwhile Yami was hoping this woman would just shut up and sit down or he would look for a cliff to drive off of, but she didn't. then the woman knelt down on the floor of the bus. Yami looked through the rear view mirror. "Lady what are you doing? Either sit or stand." But the woman ignored him and began to pray. "Lord Jesus help these people to see the light, for they are blinded by the darkness and earthly things. Help them to love you Lord. Amen." By this time some people had gotten off at earlier stops. The woman began to pray the "Our Father" and the "Hail Mary". (I'm not writing these out because they're too long and I'm sure no one's here for prayers.) "What is she doing now?" muttered Yami. After she was done praying, she began to sing and dance, literally dance on a moving bus. Yami was getting really annoyed, no one comes on _his_ bus and turns it into a church! The bus began to speed up, the lady kept singing and dancing, then all of a sudden **SCREEEECH!!! **Yami stomped on the brakes, the bus lurched forward. The dancing woman flew all the way to front of the bus and out the door, which Yami had opened. As Yami drove away, the passengers could have sworn they heard the woman screaming curses. Looks like we're not the only ones who needs to repent!

If you were offended by this story well you should have read the warning at the beginning.


	4. Chapter 4

The Disgruntled Bus Driver

The Disgruntled Bus Driver

Chapter 3- The lousy day

**By Sapphirewyren**

Well what do you know I'm actually writing again!! I've been kinda busy trying not to fail and changing my major but I'm back and I know you missed me. On to the next chappie!!

**Disclaimer: I don't own YuGiOh!**

He knew it was going to be a lousy day. It started of pretty lousy with heavy rain, meaning he had to drive slowly. At the first stop, a lady who knew there was no money on her metro card tried to pretend she didn't know there was no money on her metro card. 'I don't know what happened , I was positive that there at least two dollars left' she said. Yami glared at her and said 'Does it looks like there's two dollars left?' The lady said nothing and Yami told her to get off. Then there were teen who bought a radio on the bus and started playing it- loudly. And even though he tried to ask nicely, they weren't hearing it- maybe because the radio was too loud. So Yami stopped the bus and walked towards the back and grabbed one of the boys by the shirt and said 'If you don't turn that radio off I'm going to take it and shove it up your sorry ass!'. The radio stayed off for the rest of the ride. That day everything got on Yami's nerves, even something as natural as coughing. There was an old man who just couldn't stop coughing no matter how hard he tried and Yami left him out in the rain. That ain't gonna cure it. And as he was driving up to the next stop, Yami could see a lady holding two crying babies. One crying baby getst on my nerves and if coughing irks Yami , imagine what two crying babies would do. So that's exactly what Yami did- imagine. He drove right past, splashing water on the woman and her children causing them to cry louder. But that is still a stop and a man had to get off there. 'Hey!' he shouted 'You passed my stop!.' He was about to say how he was going to be late for work until Yami snarled "Shut up and get off at the next one.' Yup as you can tell by now Yami was having lousy day. Maybe he didn't get his coffee. Speaking of coffee, a lady accidently spilled her coffe on the floor. And usually on buses when people spill stuff on the floor, it usually stays there. Well not with Yami as your bus driver. He stopped in front of a store that sold cleaning supplies and told the lady to clean up the mess. Some passengers could swear they heard him mutter 'filthy pig'. When the mess was cleaned up the bus was on its way again, even though by now children were late for school and people were late to work.

Well as the day went on, it actually got better-- what am I saying? Let's try it again.

As the day went on it got worse. The evening was no better that the morning. It was still raining for one thing and the passengers were still getting on Yami's nerves. One toddler wouldn't shut up and to make it worse, his mother wouldn't do that same thing! She kept trying to make small talk with Yami. Asking him where he lives, what time he gets off from work, what was his phone number, what was his favorite foo, stuff like that. Yeah as you can tell she was single mother trying to hit on Yami. Yami was about to tell her to shut up, but her stop came. Then a strange thing happened, the lady and her kid were attacked by rabid fangirls! Don't mess with the fangirls!! While Yami was driving, he was thinking aboun how his life had been drastically chaneged. One minute he was a powerful Pharaoh, then he was a legendary duelist and now he was a low paid chauffeur of the blue collared shlub. 'Man I hate my life' muttered Yami. And for a moment he thought of driving off a cliff. But he didn't find any. Yami stopped the bus ion the middle of the road, got off and walked home in the rain. Today had been a lousy day.

What happened to the passengers on the bus? How should I know? I wasn't there… er I mean they had to walk to next stop and wait for another bus.


	5. Chapter 5

The Disgruntled Bus Driver

The Disgruntled Bus Driver

Chapter 4- Attack of the Fan Girls

By SapphirewyrenDisclaimer: I still don't own YuGiOh! I'm working on it

Yami's boss was not happy with him leaving the bus in the middle of the road and going home. And while he lectured Yami about commitment, the safety of the passengers and the integrity of the MTA, Yami had already come up with 150 ways to kill him. On the road it was the same lousy kind of day, except today was different, when Yami had reached the last stop and all the passengers got off the bus complaining about how their ears were ringing (sound like Yami was yelling at them again) a large group of women and girls approached the bus. Yami groaned 'Can't a guy smoke without being attacked by crazy people?' ever since Yami got this meaningless job he picked up two bad habits, smoking and drinking. Well back to the story. The girls banged on the doors squealing and screaming. They yelled out their fantasies and what they wanted to do to the spiky haired bus driver, any that I and I may be banned from this site. Yami started up the engine and drove away in a loud screech of tires. But the fan girls weren't going to give up that easy. Some hijacked nearby cars and others ran after the bus professing their undying love (more like their undying horniness) for Yami. 'Slow down we won't hurt you!' the fan girls screamed, but this only made Yami drive faster. Around the city Yami drove causing accidents everywhere, nearly knocking down people, trying to lose the fan girls. But they were determined to catch him and make him theirs. This went on for ours, until the bus started to run low on gas. By now some of the fan girls had jumped on to the roof and were making their way to the front windows. Then Yami thought of an idea, he stopped the bus suddenly. The fangirls that were on top of the bus went flying off and the fan girls behind the bus crashed into it. Yami took this opportunity, while the crazed girls were dazed to get off the bus, run down the dark alley and disappear, once again leaving the bus in the middle of the road.

Sorry that the chapter was so short, but don't worry the fan girls will be back and who knows they probably might catch him. See you in chapter 5, don't worry Kaiba fans you'll see Seto soon!


	6. Chapter 6

The Disgruntled Bus Driver

The Disgruntled Bus Driver

**Chapter 5- No Dogs Allowed**

By Sapphirewyren

**Disclaimer: I still don't own YuGiOh!**

Even though Yami tried to tell his boss that he was attacked by fan girls, the boss still gave him a speech about the integrity of the MTA and added if Yami didn't shape up, he would tell the judge to make a switch, Kaiba would drive and Yami would scoop poop. Well Yami certainly didn't want that so he grudgingly promised not to leave the bus in the middle of road. 'A driver always goes down with his bus' said the boss. As Yami walked out he grumbled ' I don't see you driving any bus.' So Yami was on the road again with his meaningless job. Then a girl got on the bus with a large, lopsided box. Yam didn't mind the box – until it sneezed that is. 'Oh sorry that was me' lied the girl. But while she was speaking the box sneezed again. The girl smiled sheepishly, ' Well what do you know, I can sneeze and talk at the same time'. For a time the ride was uneventful until the box started to shake- by itself. Yami stopped the bus, walked up to the girl and asked 'Is that box alive?' The girl was about to say no, but then the box barked. Yami jumped back and by now all the passengers were staring at the girl. 'I'm going to take that as a yes' sighed Yami. At that a large brown and black mutt jumped out of the box. 'Oh no!' cried the girl. Yami sighed again and sat down on the nearest seat. Meanwhile the screams and shouts of the passengers excited the dog more and more. The dog ran up and down the aisle licking people and making babies cry with his wet kisses. The girl tried frantically to catch the mutt, but he wiggled out of her reach. Some other passengers tried helping her catch the dog, but he was too fast for them. The only time the dog stood still was to take a shit. Meanwhile Yami was now lying down on the seat with his eyes closed, he had totally given up and was waiting oft the nightmare to be over. The dog was still running around barking loudly and grabbing bags from people. By now an audience had gathered outside the but trying to figure out what was going on. This went on for at least another half an hour until Yami could take it no longer. As the dog made his way up to the front of the bus, Yami stood up. The large mutt bumped into Yami, shook his shaggy head and looked up into a pair of very angry crimson eyes. The mutt whimpered then sat down on his rump. 'I'm really, really sorry' said the girl. But Yami just glared at her, she knew what that meant. The girl and her dog got off the bus.

Meanwhile at a local park Kaiba was scooping poop and muttering about how the CEO of KaibaCorp had to do such a demeaning job. While he was muttering, a bus pulled up next to him. 'What the-?' Kaiba said. Just the Yami got off the bus. The brunette growled "What do you want, Yami?' Yami smiled smugly "You missed a spot'. Kaiba looked confused he could swear he scooped up all the crap. "On the bus, brainiac' said Yami. 'Oh no you don't, I'm not scooping shit off the bus" said Kaiba. 'It's actually inside the bus and the bus is inside the park" said Yami. Kaiba had no choice but to scoop the poop and the glare he was getting from Yami kinda scared him. "I'll get you back for this ' growled Kaiba. 'Yeah, yeah and you'll probably win our next duel too' said Yami sarcastically. Before Kaiba could reply Yami drove off.

I hope this chapter wasn't too short, I kinda skipped a couple extra lines in my notebook.

**I kept my word Kaiba fans, he was in this chapter. I got this idea from a story I read years ago, it was one of those Romona Quimby books, but it was about her friend Howie. I hope you all enjoyed!! ******


	7. Author's Note

Author's Note

**Author's Note**

The Disgruntled Bus Driver was probably one of my best works, well according to some people, but unfortunately, I've got a real bad case of writers block for this story and will have to put it on hold for a while. It's kind of hard to find things to write about that people will write about without someone getting offended. So for now this fanfic will not have any new chapters, that doesn't mean I'm taking it down or anything. Don't worry when I think of any new ideas or if anyone else has any ideas I'll be sure to put up new chapters.

Sapphirewyren


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